On My Block: Hogwarts House Edition

Netflix recently released its heavily-awaited original series, On My Block, and it’s had people talking all week long. The show is a coming-of-age story centered around the lives of four high school friends living in rough, inner-city Los Angeles, as they try to navigate everything from first loves to neighborhood gangs to racism from their peers. The cast of the show is quite diverse, making them even more appealing to a wide range of audiences, and people are relieved to know that there will indeed be a second season of the show. I mean with an ending like that, we’d better get something!

*If you haven’t seen the first season in its entirety, stop reading right now because SPOILERS will ensue*

Now you’re probably wondering, what does any of this have to do with Hogwarts? Well, let me tell you, I would’ve never connected the two either, but as I was scrolling down my newsfeed on Twitter, I realized that it was also Hogwarts House Pride Week. I didn’t even know such a week existed, but as I watched On My Block and tried to think of blog posts that I could write in relation to it, the two worlds came together. There are four main characters in the show. There are four houses at Hogwarts. BOOM!

So I’m going to use this post as an opportunity to analyze the four main characters in the series and sort them into the Hogwarts house that I feel they are best suited for. I know it sounds a little weird, but I told you things would get weird on this blog. So without further ado, let’s get to sorting!

In the true spirit of Hogwarts, we’ll go in alphabetical order to sort the cast into their proper houses, so first up is…

Cesar Diaz

For Cesar, I choose Slytherin. I know that Slytherins get a bad rap, but it’s merely coincidental that a large number of dark witches and wizards hail from this house. There are many great people that come from Slytherin house too, and I believe Cesar is no different.

I wouldn’t call Cesar a bad guy by any means, but like a lot of other Slytherins, Cesar is misunderstood and growing up in a very tough environment. His parents aren’t around. His brother is in-and-out of jail, and sometimes not even his friends get where he’s coming from. He has to live two very different lives at home and at school, and most people don’t understand what he’s going through. He spends the entire season grappling with these two identities and trying to find a balance between them. Is he fated to be a gang member like his older brother, or is he destined for greatness outside of his hood?

Like a true Slytherin, Cesar is very careful with whom he lets into his circle, but to the people that he does allow in, he is quite loyal to them and will do pretty much anything to protect them. Remember his reason for exposing his and Monse’s secret in the first place? It was to protect her from his predatory older brother Spooky, who’d recently been released from jail. Now tell me that wasn’t noble as f*ck!

Another trait that Slytherins possess is cunningness and being able to quickly strategize. This can be seen at the end of the series when Cesar went to settle the score with his enemy Latrelle at the park. Instead of killing Latrelle, like he’d originally planned, Cesar tries to come up with a last-minute strategy that will allow both him and Latrelle to walk away with their lives intact. Unfortunately, Latrelle doesn’t hold up his end of the bargain, but Cesar was well-intentioned in devising his plan.

Like most Slytherins, Cesar is greatly misunderstood, but he tries his best anyway. He’s also quite cocky, but if you were as handsome as he is, I’m sure you’d be the same way. Cesar just oozes so many Slytherin traits to me, and I know if he attended Hogwarts, that’s the exact house he’d be sorted into.

Next up is…

Monse Finnie

From the very first time she appeared on screen, Monse screamed Gryffindor to me. She has a very strong sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. She isn’t afraid to speak her mind, and she’s quite courageous, often putting herself into some very dangerous situations. Monse is brave and bold, but at the end of the day, she is still a teenager, growing and learning and quite prone to making mistakes.

And I’m not even going to lie, her hair, her never having had close girl friends, and her need to always be right reminded me of Hermione Granger. And like Hermione (and other Gryffindors), she is always focused on saving others, but often forgets about herself in the process. This can be seen on multiple occasions, including her estranged relationship with her mother and her relationship with Cesar.

In the case of her mother, Monse hasn’t had contact with her since she walked out on her and her father over 12 years ago, and when Monse finally does find her, she decides that it’s best for everyone, her mom, her dad, and her half-siblings, if she doesn’t pursue the relationship any further.

With Cesar, Monse is okay with conceding Cesar to Olivia and allowing them to date even though she still has strong feelings for Cesar. For the sake of the “fam,” Monse is willing to sacrifice her own happiness so that everyone else can be comfortable and happy.

Also like Hermione, Monse is not afraid to take on men and the systems surrounding them. As soon as she got back from writing camp and found out that Cesar had told everyone about them having sex, she hauls ass over to his house and completely wails on him on the front lawn until she’s pulled off of him by Ruby and Jamal.

Monse isn’t perfect, by any means. She even goes as far as to lie to her friends, in a very un-Gryffindor-like fashion. She has her reasons for lying, mostly wanting to protect their friendship, but it ends up tearing the group apart anyway, showing that she should’ve just been honest from the start. Monse’s heart is in the right place, and for Gryffindors, that is what truly matters. The girl is most definitely bold, and she would definitely call Gryffindor Tower her home at Hogwarts.

The third to be sorted is…

Rueben “Ruby” Martinez

Ruby is a bit of a wild card, but I’m going to sort him right into House Ravenclaw. The group’s designated sweet talker, Ruby is smart. He’s witty, and he can talk himself (or anybody else) out of (or into) any situation. He is the wisest and (arguably) most mature member of the group, perhaps something he gets from his abuelita, another amazing character in this show.

Ruby’s cleverness is apparent from the first episode when he tries to convince his mom as to why he should have his own room after his older brother goes off to college. Although he fails to convince her, his smooth-talking is laid out on display for viewers to see from the very start.

Another instance of Rudy’s cleverness being used to help someone get out of something is at the very beginning of the series when Rudy tries to talk to Cesar’s older brother Spooky in order to get Cesar out of the gang. He fails in his attempt here as well, and instead gets Cesar promoted within the gang. Despite his failed attempt at getting his friend out of the gang, he does have a good conversation with Spooky, something that I don’t think any of the other kids could have achieved, so I’ll give him points for that.

In his last bout of smooth-talking, Rudy tries to use his charm on the football coach to see if Jamal can suit up and sit on the bench to prove to his parents that he is indeed on the football team. This attempt is actually VERY successful, and it even leads to Jamal playing in the game, scoring the game-winning touchdown and getting more information about the treasure he seeks.

Like a Ravenclaw, Ruby is also quite the creative, as can be seen with him helping to prepare for Olivia’s quinceañera at every step of the process. Up until the last minute, he can be seen fussing over invitation fonts, dress fittings, and hair and make-up. He even gets in touch with her parents via Facetime for the occasion, something Olivia definitely wasn’t expecting.

Ruby is an awesome friend, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, much like a Ravenclaw. He’s confident in himself. He’s highly intelligent, and he has a great sense of fashion as well. Ravenclaw would be happy to have Ruby as one of its own, and that’s a the truth!

And last, but not least is…

Jamal Turner

Jamal is our little Hufflepuff. Like most Hufflepuffs, he’s a cinnamon roll that must be protected. He’s sensitive. He’s dedicated. And he’s quite friendly. Jamal cares very deeply about his friends, but for some reason, his feelings are often cast aside, leaving him in a very rocky position at the end of the first season. He even misses Olivia’s party and the shootings of his friends while on his hunt for treasure.

The treasure that Jamal finds at the end of the last episode is something that he’d been talking about since day one. Like the Hufflepuff that he is, he sticks with things and eventually discovers the treasure’s true location. The cost at which he finds it is quite large, but he won’t find that out until season 2. Poor baby.

He’s also quite dedicated in keeping up the charade that he is on the football team for his parents. Doing everything from rolling in the grass, spiriting himself with water, and wearing various braces and casts, Jamal is determined to keep his secret from his parents. Somehow, he manages to make it work all the way until the end of the football season!

Jamal stays on good terms with the group for most of the series, until they have a falling out after finding the first “fake” treasure. Monse, in her disappoinment, immediately calls Jamal childish for ever pursuing such a treasure and regrets ever having helped him look for it. She and Ruby believe that Jamal’s treasure-chasing dreams force Cesar into killing Latrelle, but little do they know, Cesar devised his own plan at the last minute, saving himself from having to murder anybody.

Jamal’s one, true partner in his treasure-hunting endeavors is Ruby’s abuelita. She supports Jamal from the start, even going as far as driving him places, giving him advice, and introducing him to people that he should know if ever plans on really finding the treasure. Like a Hufflepuff, Jamal can make friends with pretty much anyone due to his friendly nature and kind disposition.

Because of his disposition, I’m curious to see how Jamal reacts to the shootings of Ruby and Olivia in the next season. I wonder if he’ll feel any guilt for what happened at the party while he was off looking for treasure. We could already see signs of him being easily overwhelmed this season as he explained to his mom all of the acronyms, including FIMS (Foot In Mouth Syndrom) and PTSD (People Telling (Me) Secrets Disorder), that he has to deal with on a daily basis.

I do hope for Jamal’s sake that he doesn’t blame himself for what happened, but he cares too much, and sometimes it’s not always the best thing. Regardless of that fact, due to how great he is with other people, sweet, baby Jamal would definitely have a home in Hufflepuff at Hogwarts castle.

• Honorable Mention Sorts:
  • Jasmine is bold as f*ck, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she wouldn’t end up in Gryffindor alongside Monse.
  • Olivia is quite mature for her age, and I believe she’d be placed in Ravenclaw, along with her last-minute love Ruby.

And there you have it, folks! The characters of On My Block neatly sorted into Hogwarts houses. I’m sure it’s not an article that you thought you’d ever read, but I’m happy to know that it now exists in the world.

If you agree or disagree with any of my sortings, let me know in the comments! And if you have any predictions for the next season, I’d love to hear those as well. On My Block is a great show, and I can’t wait to see what happens next season!